Clean up to clear up

   

So often we have relationships that get so close that we forget where,when and how they got so close that they seem like your own self. You live them so closely that you can't ever imagine yourself without them. They seem like a part of you and you identify with everything about it as yourself. The vacuum is huge if for some reason you are in conflict. These are after all two identities and its normal to have conflicts due to life situations.

     So often I look back into my life and realize how I attach myself to people and give so much of me that I receive so much in return. I have been lucky in that sense from people who I adopted as my own. Few of my own who I shared biology with, used me and walked away instead of realizing how much I did what I did coz I loved them. Lucky to find along the very difficult paths of life few good people who I shared very good and important moments with. Joys, sorrows, thoughts, ideas, problems, tears , anger, frustrations and above all time in all ways and means possible. With the world going virtual, it has become smaller and so you connect more through the virtual world. Emotions spent do make you so close and possessive. Its hard when these distances seem large and frustrations build up since you cannot share few things and thus you have walls of anger and tears. Misunderstandings build up. Egos may or may not clash but lack of communication definitely adds to the stress.

     What should one do? The stress of strained relationship that is so close to the heart and soul does affect in the subconscious mind. how much ever one tries, it is not easy to carry on your day to day activities easily. One tears up easily, gets short tempered on small things, less patience, drained emotions and tiredness that seems endless builds up. How much ever you want to move on , it drags you back and your heart seems to either tear up or weighs a tonne. We keep denying ourselves and we feel we can move on but we don't. The more we pull away the more they drag you. Every moment seems longer and the relationships loom large. How do you deal with it? Coz of egos we hang on .....the fragile egos we give them strength and relationships we thought are strong are actually fragile.Isn't it an irony? How does one get out of this state of mind?

      Not easy yes. But the easiest method I have ever followed was ...face it! The longer we postpone a dialogue the more complicated and difficult it gets. the more gaps create differences and bigger egos and so it is always better to address them. Clear up or clean up!! There is nothing inbetween that can ever solve a problem. Wait for an appropriate time when you are at peace and so is the other. half the time once you calm down , each will realize the value of the relationship and will feel its importance in life. If it is very important, both will make efforts to work on it. If not it is a good idea to reach out, be strong and clean up or clear up. Once you know where it stands, you will find it easier to move on or take it form there. If its over, clean up time ....then so be it. Move ahead however hard and it is easier as there are no expectations of it returning. And if its clear up, then life is anyways moving forward .....perhaps to the next misunderstanding in few days time after a beautiful making up session with tons of chatter and smiles. isn't that simple? So it seems....and so it is. Think about it.