Zentangle has been quite an exciting journey. I love it’s intricacy and contrast. End product is clean and beautiful. It has an ability to hide the flaws of even give them another dimension. With my severe tendinitis in my hand, I found it challenging but decided to push my limit as I was in a safe and comfortable zone where the concept was not to compete but to find your space of calm and healing. Finding this group of women tribe was meditative. Each one shared their flaws, challenges and art forms. Sona was always encouraging and gave us ideas when we were in a spot. Her teaching is such that you want to do well without fear. All the other tiles went well but the last one challenged me emotionally. As I drew the 4 sided forms and then the lines inside, I felt the inner struggle of many things that I am going through. As I started on the 2nd color the struggle was real. The more I tried to clean up, the more messy it looked. I felt frustrated and very agitated. I looked at that web and started again. I felt the fight of emotions. Wasn’t that like relationships? The more you try to withdraw, the more you are dragged, challenged and pushed. The more you compromise, the more your buttons are pressed. I felt breathless as I fervently tried to clean it up to keep both colors and designs clean. But I realized it was just me trying to clean my green, the blue was adamant and stayed there. I gave up, frustrated. It was the fight of the Titans. I left it there and walked away, like I always do in conflicts. It’s the only way to stay calm and give space and not mess further. Someone has to do that.
After the break I returned. This time with different colors and pens. I sat calmly and decided to color green to highlight it as it’s the lighter of the two. But blue peeped with equal challenge. I decided to give it a power too. Used a stronger thicker blue. It looked messy and still the conflict showed. I then picked up a green color pencil and filled up the inside of green. Gave blue an outline and a shade. Now both stood together yet showed their own forms and strength. Some places they were together behind each other and somewhere they both stood out. I felt calmer, sorted and more clean.
I realized through this, that there will always be relationships that conflict constantly to gain power. Even if you try to walk away, they will try and drag you. It’s messy and so detach and strengthen your skills. Clean up your world so that you feel stronger and less messed up. The more the fight to gain, the messier it is. Instead focus on one thing and then even if things overlap yet both will stand out. The shading helped me to give strength to both colors hence making them emerge as separate identities yet overlap as well. It’s cleaner, beautiful and more settling. In life too, the more we conflict the messier it gets, instead focus on simplifying. Do not add to the mess. Each of us is an identity, conflicts only make us look ugly. Instead of we just focus on our strengths, hone our skills, work together to make it all so beautiful. We can all have our strong identities and still work together. This design was truly a revelation and a great mind activity to help me deal with my internal conflict....an answer from the Universe?....maybe!
